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No obituary was written, no stone was laid, no words were spoken, no one gathered, no songs were sung and yet… She went to church almost every Sunday of her life. She loved music. The opera and the song Amazing Grace were at the top of her list. She played golf and bet on the ponies. She traveled to China and saw the Great Wall, and to Rome, Paris, and Budapest. She won trophies at golf. She skied and was a master at bridge. She swam in the ocean, collected seashells and watched the whales. She read hundreds of books and saw scores of plays and movies. She painted walls, and flowers, and pictures of her pets. She raised five children and played with grandchildren and great grandchildren. She went to all the weddings, graduations, bridal showers and baby showers. She moved her family and her life 11 times to accommodate her husband’s career. She made new friends (that she kept forever) everywhere she moved. She started a new career of her own time and time again. And made more friends. She called friends, visited friends, wrote to friends and hung out with her friends.  She was loved by her family and they visited often. Her home was full of pictures of family and friends. Her grandchildren learned about growing flowers and berries and tomatoes from her. She lived a long and productive life.   So how, you might ask, did she come to pass from this earth without the event being marked or her life celebrated? How is that her friends do not even know she is gone? Why are her children and grandchildren bearing the loss without the comfort of each other’s company?  She told them, “Please don’t make a fuss.” Her family took her at her word. No fuss was made. She vanished without a trace.   www.plattsfuneralhome.com

Writing and delivering a eulogy can be a daunting task. How do you sum up a life in three to eight minutes? If you are not accustomed to public speaking, the idea of “being on stage” can add to the discomfort. But take heart: what you are going to do is important, but perfection is not required.

How do I protect myself from scams that have become all too common in society today? How do I prevent myself from becoming a victim of the scammers who are on the phone, on the computer and at the front door?

Read this blog even though you don’t want to. Especially if you or your parent is over 65 or living alone. Age Associated Financial Vulnerability is a real thing and it affects intelligent, independent people. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau puts the cost of elder financial exploitation as high as $36 billion a year.

Let’s talk about the stages of grief. There is denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I studied them in nursing school, reviewed them when I got divorced and generally found them to be a pretty accurate and helpful bit of knowledge. And then, a family member died. Stages?

First, relax. Talking about your funeral plans might make you a little uncomfortable at first but making a plan doesn’t mean you will be using it anytime soon. Your funeral director or advance planner will guide you through the process. Most people get very comfortable in just a few minutes.

Can I just say that funerals stick in the mind of a loved one years after a death? It’s important that you get it right . Please don’t put your wishes in the drawer with the rest of your files. Oh, and that thing where you tell the kids what you want. That’s not the best either.

First, understand that what you wear to the funeral is much less important than actually going to the funeral or gathering.  Don’t underestimate the value of your presence.  Your kind words, shared stories, or even just a hug will mean a great deal to friends and family when there has been a death. Don’t let not having a pair of dress shoes keep you from offering your support.  That being said, what you wear depends on several different factors. The first thing to consider is who died.  If your 80-year-old grandfather passed, the funeral is likely to be more traditional. His older friends will attend, so you will want to be more conservative.  A pair of slacks and a collared shirt for men and boys will do nicely. If you own a sport coat, by all means wear it. A tie with or without the jacket would be a nice, but not a required, addition.   For the ladies and girls, dress slacks and a nice sweater or blouse will serve the purpose. A dress or skirt would also be lovely. Do pay attention to necklines and length of the skirt.   When the funeral is for a younger person or will not be faith based, it may be more informal.  A celebration of life is typically more relaxed and may even have a theme that the family will ask attendees to support.  So if you’re asked to wear golf attire to the funeral of an avid golfer, don’t be surprised.   Like the dress code for most events today, what we wear to a funeral has relaxed. Black is no longer required, but neat, clean, and subdued are always in good taste.  A funeral is not a place to stand out or be the center of attention. As you survey your wardrobe, think in terms of what you would wear to an important job interview or something you would want to wear to apply in person for a bank loan.     www.plattsfuneralhome.com

What is embalming?

A “personalized” funeral is not just for the rich and famous. When someone we love dies, we want to remember that person. We want to celebrate the life that was lived. A life story does not have to have a dramatic plot twist or culminate in fame and riches to be worthy of remembrance.

We’ve all been there. Going to a funeral can be a little daunting, especially if it’s your first or if it’s been awhile since you attended one. Let’s talk a little bit about some of the terms you will hear and what you can expect in general.