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Make Family the Foundation for Funeral Planning

Dec 04, 2022

There are two ways to take care of funeral planning: 1) you can plan your own funeral in advance or 2) your survivors can plan your funeral for you after your death. Regardless of when it is planned, or who plans the funeral, the planning needs to start with your family. Your family should be the foundation for funeral planning. 

 

After all, the funeral is not really for the deceased…it is for those who survive. We show respect for all human life in the manner in which we care for the body that housed the soul or spirit of our loved one. Respect and dignity for the body is important. The funeral helps those of us who survive by changing our focus from the cause of the death to the life that was lived. The funeral is the beginning of our grieving process and that is why funerals are so important.

 

If you are planning in advance for your own final remembrance, begin by thinking of those who love you. Your spouse, your children, your grandchildren, your friends and even your co-workers, what will they remember? What will make them smile? What will comfort them? What will they need? When they think of you what will come to mind? How is faith a part of their lives?

 

If you are planning a funeral for a deceased family member, involve the children, grandchildren and even close friends in the process. Ask them how they remember their friend or relative. Remember, we have all had a unique relationship with the deceased, so what you want to remember may be different from what your brother remembers. Ask your funeral director for ideas so they can help you capture and express the unique personality of your family member in the service plan.

 

For many years funeral planning started with a different set of questions. It started with questions about the faith. What church did your mother belong to? It followed with questions about the decedent’s wishes. What do you think your dad would want? These are still good valid questions but basing the entire funeral plan on only these aspects may not touch every family member.

 

Mother may have preferred that no one see her after death, but if you, her daughter, need to see her, speak up. If you don’t share your brother’s faith and you need to hear a eulogy that is all about his life or see pictures that bring back your time growing up together, speak up. The imprint of the funeral sticks with the surviving family. It is literally the last memory we carry of someone we loved.

 

Funerals are Changing … but Grief is Still the Same

By Platt's Funeral Home Admin • 11 May, 2024
Without a doubt, funerals are changing. Funeral services have become less formal and are noticeably more personal. They are sometimes religious and sometimes they are not. Funerals are often shorter and sometimes take place weeks after the death. There may be more songs, more pictures, and there is much more creativity at many funerals today.

Remembering a Rabid Football Fan

By Platt's Funeral Home Admin • 03 May, 2024
Fans purchase large screen televisions just to watch the game. Others set up multiple televisions in their game day viewing rooms. All manner of hats, shirts, blankets, sweaters, jackets, mugs, and glasses in team colors are sold each year. Added to the dollars spent on equipment and tickets to events, it all adds up to $100 billion spent each year by fans. Football fans are mighty in number.

Vanished Without a Trace

11 Apr, 2024
No obituary was written, no stone was laid, no words were spoken, no one gathered, no songs were sung and yet… She went to church almost every Sunday of her life. She loved music. The opera and the song Amazing Grace were at the top of her list. She played golf and bet on the ponies. She traveled to China and saw the Great Wall, and to Rome, Paris, and Budapest. She won trophies at golf. She skied and was a master at bridge. She swam in the ocean, collected seashells and watched the whales. She read hundreds of books and saw scores of plays and movies. She painted walls, and flowers, and pictures of her pets. She raised five children and played with grandchildren and great grandchildren. She went to all the weddings, graduations, bridal showers and baby showers. She moved her family and her life 11 times to accommodate her husband’s career. She made new friends (that she kept forever) everywhere she moved. She started a new career of her own time and time again. And made more friends. She called friends, visited friends, wrote to friends and hung out with her friends.  She was loved by her family and they visited often. Her home was full of pictures of family and friends. Her grandchildren learned about growing flowers and berries and tomatoes from her. She lived a long and productive life.   So how, you might ask, did she come to pass from this earth without the event being marked or her life celebrated? How is that her friends do not even know she is gone? Why are her children and grandchildren bearing the loss without the comfort of each other’s company?  She told them, “Please don’t make a fuss.” Her family took her at her word. No fuss was made. She vanished without a trace.   www.plattsfuneralhome.com

Preparing The Eulogy

28 Mar, 2024
Writing and delivering a eulogy can be a daunting task. How do you sum up a life in three to eight minutes? If you are not accustomed to public speaking, the idea of “being on stage” can add to the discomfort. But take heart: what you are going to do is important, but perfection is not required.

Scam Protection

15 Mar, 2024
How do I protect myself from scams that have become all too common in society today? How do I prevent myself from becoming a victim of the scammers who are on the phone, on the computer and at the front door?

Age-Associated Financial Vulnerability

01 Mar, 2024
Read this blog even though you don’t want to. Especially if you or your parent is over 65 or living alone. Age Associated Financial Vulnerability is a real thing and it affects intelligent, independent people. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau puts the cost of elder financial exploitation as high as $36 billion a year.

Grief is Individual

15 Feb, 2024
Let’s talk about the stages of grief. There is denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I studied them in nursing school, reviewed them when I got divorced and generally found them to be a pretty accurate and helpful bit of knowledge. And then, a family member died. Stages?

How Should I Prepare for My Funeral Preplanning Meeting?

02 Feb, 2024
First, relax. Talking about your funeral plans might make you a little uncomfortable at first but making a plan doesn’t mean you will be using it anytime soon. Your funeral director or advance planner will guide you through the process. Most people get very comfortable in just a few minutes.

It's Not Really a Funeral Plan if it's Not at the Funeral Home

19 Jan, 2024
Can I just say that funerals stick in the mind of a loved one years after a death? It’s important that you get it right . Please don’t put your wishes in the drawer with the rest of your files. Oh, and that thing where you tell the kids what you want. That’s not the best either.

How to Dress for a Funeral

06 Jan, 2024
First, understand that what you wear to the funeral is much less important than actually going to the funeral or gathering.  Don’t underestimate the value of your presence.  Your kind words, shared stories, or even just a hug will mean a great deal to friends and family when there has been a death. Don’t let not having a pair of dress shoes keep you from offering your support.  That being said, what you wear depends on several different factors. The first thing to consider is who died.  If your 80-year-old grandfather passed, the funeral is likely to be more traditional. His older friends will attend, so you will want to be more conservative.  A pair of slacks and a collared shirt for men and boys will do nicely. If you own a sport coat, by all means wear it. A tie with or without the jacket would be a nice, but not a required, addition.   For the ladies and girls, dress slacks and a nice sweater or blouse will serve the purpose. A dress or skirt would also be lovely. Do pay attention to necklines and length of the skirt.   When the funeral is for a younger person or will not be faith based, it may be more informal.  A celebration of life is typically more relaxed and may even have a theme that the family will ask attendees to support.  So if you’re asked to wear golf attire to the funeral of an avid golfer, don’t be surprised.   Like the dress code for most events today, what we wear to a funeral has relaxed. Black is no longer required, but neat, clean, and subdued are always in good taste.  A funeral is not a place to stand out or be the center of attention. As you survey your wardrobe, think in terms of what you would wear to an important job interview or something you would want to wear to apply in person for a bank loan.     www.plattsfuneralhome.com
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